# oh lord, this is getting really recursive. # doofy bot for eggdrop # Modified for eggdrop 1.0 by Mark-ATL # # 8ball # response: .note user@bot set timezone "EST" set response { "Absolutely yes!" "Answer hazy." "Prospect looks bleak." "No." "That's a question you should ask yourself." "Prospect looks hopeful." "I like to think so." "Not even on a GOOD day." "It would take a disturbed person to even ask." "Maybe -- give me more money and ask again." "Yes, yes, yes, and yes again." "You wish." "Not bloody likely." "I'm busy." "Concentrate and ask again." "Most likely." "I wouldn't know anything about that." "No way." "All signs point to yes." "Never." "Yes." "Maybe." "Sometime in the near future. Ask again tomorrow." "Over my dead body." "That question is better remained unanswered." "We won't go there" "." } set howshould_response { "Very carefully." "Alone." "With a can opener" "Using a pencil sharpener" "As quickly as possible" "Slowly and carefully." "With a friend." "With someone you love." "Just don't do it." "Just do it." "Not alone." "With help." "With a screwdriver." "With a spoon." "With a fork." "With a knive." "Using a toaster." "In the woods." "Under the bed." "In bed." "In the kitchen." "In the living room." "In the back seat of the car." "At McDonald's." "I wouldn't know how to do that. I'm not the person you should be asking. :)" "Don't ask me." "Beats me." "In plain view." "Freely." "With a large audience." "With a small audience." "." } set howis_response { "Just fine" "Not doing too well." "I don't know" "I have no idea" "Don't ask" "Good" "Bad" "." } set when_response { "Tomorrow at 6:00pm" "In an hour" "In ten minutes" "In less than 2 hours" "It won't happen unless you act now" "In three days" "Today" "Now" "Tonight" "In 1997 sometime" "Three days before the second full moon after your next birthday" "Next week" "In the next year" "Never" "Tomorrow afternoon" "Next month" "In January" "In February" "In March" "In April" "In May" "In June" "In July" "In August" "In September" "In October" "In November" "In December" "Summertime" "Wintertime" "Springtime" "Autumn" "." } set where_response { "In bed." "Outside." "Inside." "In Minnesota." "In New York." "In Seattle." "In Sydney, Australia." "Next to your best friend." "Beside your worst enemy." "At home." "At work." "At a bowling alley." "At a golf course." "At a sports arena." "Under the bed." "In the street." "In your friend's car." "In the back seat of a car." "In a doorway." "At your computer terminal." "In a chair." "At the dinner table." "In the refrigerator." "At your friend's house." "Sitting on the lap of someone you love." "On your great-great-great-great grandfather's grave." "At Disneyworld." "At McDonald's." "In the restroom." "In the bathtub." "In the shower." "Behind closed doors." "." } proc do_8ball {nick text} { global when_response howis_response howshould_response response botnick channel where_response timezone set text [string tolower $text] set output8 [lindex $response [rand [llength $response]]] if {[regexp " time " "$text"] || [regexp " date " "$text"]} { set output8 "It's [time] $timezone on [date]."} if {([regexp "ould" "$text"] || [regexp "will" "$text"] || [regexp " do" "$text"] || [regexp " is " "$text"] || [regexp " are " "$text"] || [regexp " am " "$text"] || [regexp " go" "$text"] || [regexp " to " "$text"]) && [regexp "how" "$text"]} { set output8 [lindex $howshould_response [rand [llength $howshould_response]]] } if {([regexp " was " "$text"] || [regexp " were " "$text"]) && [regexp "how" "$text"]} { set output8 [lindex $howis_response [rand [llength $howis_response]]] } if {[regexp "when" "$text"]} { set output8 [lindex $when_response [rand [llength $when_response]]] } if {[regexp "where" "$text"]} { set output8 [lindex $where_response [rand [llength $where_response]]] } if {[regexp " old" "$text"] || [regexp " age" "$text"]} { set output8 "[rand 60] years."} if {[regexp " or " "$text"]} { set output8 "Don't ask me multiple choice questions."} if {[string compare $output8 "."] == 0} { set outnick [lindex [userlist] [rand [countusers]]] if {[rand 2]} {set outnick [lindex [chanlist] [rand [llength [chanlist]]]]} if {[onchan $outnick] != 0} { return "$nick, Ask someone else. How about $outnick on $channel? :)" } else { return "$nick, I would have advised you to ask $outnick, but I don't see that person here." } } else { return "$nick, $output8" } } proc do_8ball_chan {nick uhost handle chan args} { global response botnick putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :[do_8ball $nick $args]" } proc do_8ball_dcc {nick botchannel text} { global response botnick channel dccputchan $botchannel "[do_8ball $nick $text]" } bind pubm - "% Oasis*" do_8ball_chan bind pubm - "% 8Ball*" do_8ball_chan #bind chat - "Vasha*" do_8ball_dcc